There are several drafts sitting in my “Posts,” some of them are empty but titled, others have a few words but nothing more. The posts never go anywhere, they just sit and collect dust. But what they tell me, sitting there all lined up waiting to be posted, is that on numerous occasions I had something I need to say, felt compelled to say, but did not end up saying for some reason or another.
What it means, ultimately, is that I am preventing myself from getting out feelings and words that need to come out.
On this very last day of February, months since my last post, I reached out to a very good friend of mine, also a blogger who has abandoned her post, and made a plea for a new project, a joint venture, a challenge. Blog every day for 90 days in an attempt to reach some goals. We both have several areas of our lives where we’re feeling unaccomplished. We’ve shelved projects, given up on dreams, and most importantly we’ve stopped taking care of ourselves in our quest to take care of everyone around us.
So tonight I proposed a change. There are only two rules to the game.
1. We will create a small collection of goals that we want to achieve in 90 days. They have to be realistic, reasonable goals.
2. We will blog every day for 90 days as we strive to achieve these goals. Our blogs will become our avenues for accountability, because we only have ourselves in the end.
I’m sitting at a borrowed desk, running on fumes and borrowed time (via coffee.) I haven’t been sleeping much, basically running myself to the point of exhaustion before I get a few hours. This is a dangerous game, considering what it does to my diabetes and fibromyalgia. Tonight I am vowing to get my thoughts down, to clear them from my head, so that I can hopefully find the rest I seek and start fresh tomorrow.
Tomorrow, March 1, will be day one of ninety. I have 90 days to make a change in my life.
I don’t know what I will be able to accomplish in this time. How much focus I’ll have. What impact I’ll have.
What I do know is that I’ll be blogging about it, I’ll be recording it, and hopefully THAT above all else will drive me to make change.
Hey look, new signature!