I have owned this domain name for a very long time. It may be that I have owned it for as long as “Knight’s Tale” has been a film. I fell in love with that movie, largely because it sparked something in me that remained with me for many years. I’ve intended to “change my stars” for many years, making plans but never following through. Almost six years ago, I started losing weight rapidly and thought it was finally time to make changes. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was losing weight because I had developed diabetes. I spent five years completely unaware of the complications I was causing to my health. The upside is that I went from 370lbs to 200lbs during this time. The downside is that I nearly killed myself in the process.
In April 2012, I became ill and could not fight it off. My housemate urged me to go to the Urgent Care in town, and I finally did. After a few tests, they told me some startling facts. My A1C was 15, though it should be less than 5. My fasting blood sugar level, a number that should be between 70 and 130, was 330. I was approaching ketoacidosis, a serious diabetes complication that would have killed me.
Everything changes when you nearly die.
Within a few months I managed to successfully bring my A1C down to 5.6. Not perfect, but for someone with diabetes and a weight issue, I am certainly improving. My typical fasting blood sugar level is between 80 and 110. During the process of bringing my blood sugar down, I discovered that my high blood sugar buffer had been covering up some complications caused by the diabetes: Mainly, fibromyalgia, retinopathy in my eyes and neuropathy in my legs.
Getting healthy is more difficult when you are in pain all the time. I suffer from intense headaches, debilitating fatigue and chronic pain all over. The neuropathy causes pain that is reminiscent of being stabbed with needles that are electrified. The fibromyalgia causes pain that is a cross between muscle soreness and bone soreness. Sometimes I feel like my joints are inflamed and it is hard to walk. Sometimes I just have to stand still because no part of my body wants anything to touch it. It’s made for an interesting life. This year has been truly life-altering.
So today is March 1. The anniversary of discovering I was diabetic is fast approaching, on April 19. I have a little bit of time to put myself in a better situation. This is especially important because the insulin and the other meds I’m taking, coupled with sleep issues and pain, have caused me to gain 20lbs. Today on March 1, 2013, I am 216lbs, which means that I have lost 4lbs on my own, but I really need to get below 200 again, and beyond that even.
This is just an introduction. There is so much more to say. But I want to start with some goals that I will address every day.
- I want to gain control of my finances. I am a freelance writer and a part-time secretary. I have the means to get control of my money, now I need to put a plan into action.
- I want to lose weight. At 216lbs, I have a ways to go. By the end of the summer I would be thrilled to weigh 170lbs.
- I want to get fit. Diet and exercise is not just about numbers. I want to feel healthy in my own skin. Exercise can go a long way to improving mood, improving sleep and improving blood sugar. I need to stay active.
- I want to go back to school. I am currently applying for a local college. I am trying to obtain a bachelor’s degree in business administration, though have considered focusing on business law as well.
- I want to develop my own identity. There are so many things I’m passionate about that I’ve lost touch with. I miss growing things in planters. I miss crafting and making jewelry. I miss reading. I want to dive back into these things. I want to use them as incentives and rewards for meeting my other goals.
I’m 28 years old. I will be 29 in July. I’m too young to be so lost. I’m too young to be so unhealthy. I only have a few good years left to make a serious lasting change. Today is day one. I will change my stars.